Blog Prompt #7

Paper #1
Foreign Athletic Limits
Grade: D

Clarity of Purpose
The thesis statement is clear and strong; it may be followed throughout the paper.
The author understands audience and the purpose of the paper is defined as well.

Quality of Thought
It does have rational thought, but not necessarily organized as clearly as it could be being as it kind of runs together.
However with the use of sources represented throughout the composition the argument is supported.
A stronger introduction could make the paper flow better.

Effective Organization of Content
The content could be condensed in a few instances.
The arrangement is good but could have improvements for example it can be repetitive.
The conclusion and introduction are organized well since both contain the thesis statement.
The structure of paper is not coherent.
The conclusion has a couple of confusing sentences which contradict what the writer said throughout the paper.

Language and Style
Most sources are represented correctly.

Language and Style
The style is simple in construct, however it does have consistency.
The language could have more use of literary elements, adjectives, adverbs, etc. which would make this argument more effective for the audience.

Grammar and Mechanics
Numerous comma/apostrophes with possessive noun/pronoun errors
Errors in punctuation with quotes and capitalization with quotes
Run-on in the 2nd paragraph
Capitalization/punctuation errors
A couple of pronoun errors
Misspelled words
Words need in a few places
Topic sentence of paragraphs not always clear

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Paper #2
Online College Vs. Online High School
Grade: C

Clarity of Purpose
No clear thesis is found within the introduction.
The introduction could be more in depth as to what is contained within the essay.
The authors awareness of the audience is good and the perception that he/she needs to make his/her argument known. However, the essay does not do so in the introduction as well as it could have the purpose understood more so within the paper.


Quality of Thought
Ideas are supported by credible evidence but they are not correctly identified by all sources.
The writer rationally explains his/her purpose.

Effective Organization of Content
The arrangement of paragraphs are clear and makes sense.
The content is arranged effectively and is presented so that the reader understands what the author's topic is.
It supports the purpose even though the purpose needs to initially be identified.

Use of Sources
A few times the use of sources are not represented correctly.

Language and Style
The vocabulary is alright but could be more colorful.
The style is consistent and the structure of the paper is coherent.
Literary elements could be used more.
The author's own personal style is displayed throughout with questions for the audience to consider, which are then answered or explained along with personal statements from the author to grab the readers attention.

Grammar and Mechanics
Numerous misspelled words
Contraction error in introduction
And or but used to start 2 sentences
Could combine a couple of sentences
In the 1st paragraph when it the author gives the example of a woman in her 30s it is unclear and a stereotype, since not all woman in their 30s are married, have kids, or a job. This could be corrected only if talking of a specific example then it should be cited. If not specific then it must be explained further that it is an example by the author and should be backed up by a source of some kind.
Fragment in 3rd paragraph
5th paragraph has numerous sources need to be fixed
Comma errors throughout

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Paper #3
Predisposed to Divorce
Grade: B

Quality of Purpose
The thesis statement is presented clearly and followed through with in the following paragraphs.
The purpose of the author is presented well and continues to be seen throughout.

Quality of Thought
The ideas and thoughts of the writer is represented well.
The author gets their purpose of the paper and their thesis is backed up by the ideas and information contained within the paper.
However, ideas found within paragraphs following the intro and ending before the conclusion are lacking enough credible sources and evidence to give the paper the substance it needs.
The statements and info the author includes to support the thesis are not supported by credible sources.
-Paragraph 2-needs more credible sources as to why divorce affects children mentally.
Not just info from the author. More statistics are needed in addition.
-Paragraph 3- Idea of children living with divorce will go through "emotional and
self doubt" needs more of an explanation as to why this is so and also as to why this is so.
-Paragraph 4- Needs more credible sources why it affects children and why it
would be hard for the example of a young girl who had divorced parents to adjust
to married life
Paragraph 1 also should go into detail aobut why genetics are "still up in the air" as discussed in the intro in the thesis
Strong Intro but weak conclusion

Effective Organization of Content
It has excellent organization. Everything discussed in the intro is gone into further depth in the following paragraphs.
The thesis statement contains key topics of the up and coming paragraphs. Each paragraph is designated a topic that is explained.

Use of Sources
Correctly done

Language and Style
Vocabulary and diction are presented well.
The author has a consistent construction when building each paragraph. It is sensible and understandable for the viewing audience.

Grammar and Mechanics
A few spelling/comma/tense/punctuation/capitalization error(s)
Run-on in paragraph 2

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Paper #4
NAACP Case Against Gun Manufactures
Grade: D

Clarity of Purpose
No clear thesis statement.
Purpose, however, is clear throughout the paper.

Quality of Thought
Rational thought and ideas are with in the paper.
Although there are credible sources supporting the info there is not enough info or sources to confirm it to make the essay effective.
The conclusion could also be stronger than it is.

Effective Organization of Content
There is no clear conclusion instead an extra paragraph should be added for the purpose of concluding and summing up what is explained in paragraphs 1 through 3.
No thesis however is noticeable in the intro.
The paragraphs are organized well and the info contained within supports the topic of each.

Use of Sources
There are a few missing sources in the essay.
Not all sources are used from the bibliography in the paper.

Grammar and Mechanics
A few spelling/comma/capitalization/pronoun/punctuation error(s)